Things are changing… but not for the good
We had been praying for me to be here for our daughter, Kristin’s and Mike’s, wedding. It was a beautiful event and I was able to fully enjoy the day. I’ll admit I was exhausted by the end, but so were a lot of people who were healthy! Weddings are a lot of work, but so worth it! I am very thankful that I was able to enjoy this awesome day with Kristin, and family, and some special friends.
Some things were changing before the wedding. My CA 19-9 (cancer marker) had jumped about 20 points in mid-August. I started to have abdominal distention. I was also concerned that I would not fit into my dress for the wedding. It was close, but it worked! The week before the wedding, the CA 19-9 only increased by less than 2 points, however, the week after the wedding, the CA 19-9 jumped by almost 35 points!
My abdomen has continued to get larger and more uncomfortable, including shortness of breath. The doctor thought it was probably ascites, which is a fluid accumulation in the abdomen from a sick liver, likely the cancer. I had a procedure done to withdraw fluid, called a paracentesis, but they did not get a significant amount of fluid. The shortness of breath is the worst feeling. I am waiting to hear about an appointment with the doctor this week. Things are changing, and not for the good.
So how am I dealing with the changes, along with the things that were already a struggle, such as the neuropathy, fatigue, mouth ulcers, leg swelling, etc.? I am struggling with all of the expected negative emotions, along with fear and frustration with the shortness of breath.
There is only so much the doctors and medical community can do and there is only one who is greater. Things are changing, but I know that there is only One who never changes.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
I know I can trust Him to direct my steps as hard as they may be. He has always been with me, and will never leave me.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
I know He has the power to heal me. However, that has not been His will so far. He is giving me more peace about going to heaven, but I am struggling with the thought of leaving my husband, children, my family, and friends. If this is His will, I believe He will give me more peace, and I pray He would do that for my family.
We sing a lot of songs about heaven and our confidence in Jesus’ salvation, our hope, His conquering death for the hope we have of eternal life. This is what the scripture tells us. I believe these words.
I have to live day by day and hope to feel well enough to enjoy fun and precious moments.
Thank you so much for your prayers that have held me up and will continue to do so. I am so thankful for the time the Lord has given me, along with fun and precious times to enjoy. He has given me purpose while fighting this cancer.
Please do not forget Gail's Girls as we are empowering, educating, and encouraging young women leaders in southern Asia. They need our prayers and our support. You can give online at
www.GailsGirls.org through the Stadia website.
Also, do not forget about our Family Funfest and 5K run on October 6th. The run can also be done virtually. We encourage those running to ask your friends and family to support them as they can raise more funds for Gail's Girls. The run starts at 10am and the Family Funfest will begin at 11:30am and end at 2pm. There will be food vendors, a live band, and lots of activities for the kids. Please join us and give your support in any way possible. You can sign up for the race (also virtual) at livevibrant.com and go to 'events'. You can also just donate your support.
We all will leave a legacy at the end of our lives. Please join me in adding more people in heaven due to supporting these young women who are transforming communities and starting home Bible studies. You are adding up treasure in heaven in a huge way by adding your support.
P.S. It is becoming more difficult to type with the neuropathy and even dictate with the dry mouth, but I will try to continue with the blogs.