Maybe I'm Amazed

Don's Journey

So, we just got home from vacation in Florida. It was 68 degrees when we left and 38 degrees when we arrived home. I kind of feel like 38 degrees. There is an old saying that goes like this, “You can run but you just can’t hide.” Gail and I have tried to plan something out of the ordinary about once-a-month or so since her diagnosis. Sometimes it’s a night out or an overnight at a favorite spot. Sometimes it’s a week or so of vacation, this time to somewhere warm! Side note: Since chemotherapy and cancer have robbed Gail of many pounds, she is cold literally all the time. I don’t mean just chilly, I mean miserably cold. Every hour and every new environment presents a quest for her to find warmth. We’ve actually found several ingenious inventions that help one stay warm, like a heated jacket. Very cool. Back to my story. I must say that nearly all of these special events have done what we hoped. Time away from regular life is fun, and we have always loved new adventures. But every adventure includes some bittersweet moments like yesterday morning.

We were nearing the end of vacation and getting things in order for travel the next day. I think the last day of vacation is sometimes pretty depressing for all of us. We all long for the days when work is not necessary, and we have unlimited resources to do as we please. I think that is called “heaven.” We both love the Pandora channel called, “Beatles.” Gail and I love Beatles music and many songs by other artists of the same genre. Songs have a mystical power in our lives. Most of us could track much of our journey through the lyrics and melodies of music. When I first heard the news that my wife had stage four pancreatic cancer that was now in her liver and glands, a song came to mind.

I suppose it should have been a “religious” song, since I’m a preacher, but I kind of like old Beatles music better than most modern Christian music. Don’t get me wrong, I love to worship with the music of today’s Christian artists, but there’s something about the music of my youth that has survived many decades. Anyway, “my wife may be dying” song is an old McCartney song, “Maybe I’m Amazed.” It was released in 1970 after the breakup of the Beatles. Paul was writing about his wife Linda, who later died of breast cancer. Through the song, he credited her as the one who got him through his loneliness during this difficult time of life. They were married twenty-nine years and it was said that they only spent ten nights apart during that entire time.

So, I was cleaning the bathroom and Gail was in the bedroom getting ready to go out for the evening. I heard the first few bars and immediately recognized the song. I ran to the kitchen where our travel speaker was located, and I turned it up. When I turned around, my wife had come to the kitchen as well. She extended her arms, and there, on the last day of our Florida vacation we danced while Paul sang my beloved song. I doubt I will ever outlive this memory.

Maybe I'm Amazed

by Paul McCartney

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you Maybe I'm amazed at the the way you pulled me out of time And hung me on a line Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Maybe I'm a man and maybe I'm a lonely man Who's in the middle of something That he doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a man and maybe you're the only woman Who could ever help me Baby won't you help me understand

Maybe I'm a man and maybe I'm a lonely man Who's in the middle of something That he doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a man and maybe you're the only woman Who could ever help me Baby won't you help me understand

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song Right me when I'm wrong Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Songwriters: Paul Mccartney / Paul James Mccartney

Thank you, Paul. Thank you, Gail. I love you.