Gail and I have chosen to be straightforward, open and honest with each other, our family, and our friends, through this process. This approach has been very difficult at times, but I’ve got to tell you, it has allowed us to keep moving forward more smoothly. No secrets. No false fronts. No lying. No holding back. This has worked for us so far. I know this approach is helping me mature through each conversation. I don’t know how families that do not share openly with one another, even in the tough times, get through it. In any case, I want our readers to know that this way of handling communication is working well for us so far. I will let you know if that changes.
I am also communicating with God in the same manner. I confess that I don’t feel “super close” to Him right now, but I don’t think that is because I’m angry. Many times, I just don’t have much to say. I request that He somehow make Himself known each day and that He not leave us. I am confident that He is there and I see Him in some way each day. I have gotten angry with Him sometimes. I shouted in my heart and even swore a few times. You’d think I’d be more self-controlled by now. I return to Him later and apologize, just like I would Gail if I got angry and said mean things to her. I figure He knows what I’m thinking anyway, so I might as well say it. I’m glad He’s been very patient with me and is still helping me grow through this. Having said that, it’s all still miserable much of the time.